The cake is a LIE!

     Somewhereville ... true story

     A girl went to a party in Sexy clothes and she ended up staying longer than planned, her boyfriend got drunk and passed out and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away around the corner of bellflower and artesia.

    As she walked along passing "7 eleven" Mary asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

     The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Mary for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one question. Mary was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God?
Repost this as (your city) if you trulybelieve
in God..

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what

"If you deny me in front of your friends, I shall deny you in front of my Father"

STAND UP FOR HIM - 92% wont post this

..............I've decided to fix the story..............

   NOWHEREVILLE ..... true story

     A girl went to a party in THE SKIN OF A LARGE BADGER and she ended up PIROUETTING ABOUT WITH TUNA IN HER HANDS longer than planned, her boyfriend got A REALLY NICE HAIRCUT and passed out and she had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because SHE HAD A JAW THAT COULD KILL A MAN BY WIELDING ITS SHEER GIRTH, it was a small town and she lived only a few CUBIC CENTIMETERS away around the corner of bellflower and artesia.

As she walked along passing, "THE HALLOWED HALLS OF DR. MUNTY'S SHINY PUZZLETORIUM," Mary asked God to keep her safe from HAM-FISTED LUDDITES and SAUSAGE.

When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it OUTSIDE AND SHOOT IT. YES, MARY NOT ONLY FANCIED CONCEPTS AS IMPOSSIBLE AS DISPLACING GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATIONS AND MURDERING THEM, BUT SHE ALSO SOMEHOW MANAGED TO PULL THESE IMPOSSIBLE TASKS OFF WITH FLYING COLORS. BUT, REALLY, THAT'S ALL ASIDE FROM THE POINT NOW, ISN'T IT?
Anyway ... halfway down the alley she noticed a BUSHEL OF ROSES standing at the end as though IT were waiting for her.
She became A SQUEALING PIG-BEAST and began to pray, asking for God's protection. AND CAKE.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and SOLIPSISM wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her ... AND HOLDING CAKE.

     When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man, RECITED THE ENTIRE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE, DID A SOMERSAULT, SLOWLY UNFOLDED A CRACKLING LAYER OF EXCESS SPINAL COLUMN, EMITTED A HIGH-PITCHED HUMMING ALONG WITH A BLINDING BEAM OF LIGHT FROM THE NOW EXPOSED CAVITY IN HER BACK WHILE A SWARM OF LOCUSTS FILLED THE SKY, A SMALL MOUTH EMERGED FROM THE INSIDE OF HER RIGHT ELBOW AND SPOKE THE WORDS, "THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END," and she arrived home safely.

     The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been GIVEN A PUPPY in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep THROUGH HER SEVENTH EYE.

Thanking the Lord for her safety CAKE and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story IN FULL DRAMATIC SOLILOQUY WITH JUST A BIT OF INTERPRETIVE DANCE THROWN IN TO MIX THINGS UP.

The police asked her if she would be willing to MAKE A SAILBOAT FROM THEIR HOLLOWED CORPSES TO GIVE TO THEIR CHILDREN AND TO look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.

     When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke IT down and COMPLETELY AND OUTRIGHT "TORE UP" THE DANCE FLOOR and confessed BECAUSE HE TOTALLY NEEDED TO CATCH UP ON HIS QUOTA FOR "KEEPING IT REAL, YO."

     The officer thanked Mary for her bravery and NOT FOR HER HORRID VENTURE INTO THE WORLD OF DANCE. THEN, THEY asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked FOR A BASKET WEAVED FROM THE BONES OF SMALL ORPHANS. AFTER THE OFFICER EXPLAINED THAT THIS IS, IN FACT, COMPLETELY AND OBSCENELY ILLEGAL (never mind what they asked of her earlier) , SHE INSTEAD ASKED if they would ask the man one question.
Mary was curious as to why he had not attacked her WITH PUPPIES. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she WAS A TEETOTALER. AND She had BEEN WALKING AMONG THE COMPANY OF THE HAMBURGLAR AND MAYOR McCHEESE on either side of her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone (UNLESS YOU SURGICALLY REMOVE THE DEVICE FROM YOUR SKULL).

Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God? THEY JUST SIT AROUND WITH THEIR HANDS IN THE AIR SCREAMING, "WHO BROKE MY LEGS!" LIKE THE BUNCH OF FREELOADING LOITERERS THEY ARE.

Repost this as (your city) if you truly believe in God'S MAJESTIC CAKE-GIVING POWERS.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what

"If you deny me in front of your friends, I shall deny you in front of my Father. OH AND YOU'RE TOTALLY NOT INVITED TO THE NEXT BOX SOCIAL. YOU CHARLATAN, YOU."

STAND UP FOR HIM. HE DOESN'T LIKE IT WHEN YOU'RE LEGS ARE BENT AT ANYTHING BELOW 135 DEGREES.

92% wont post this

repost this with your city..True story